Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am one with the molecules
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
