Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
