just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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