Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do herpes really smell.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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