If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
