so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
