ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
