We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
