Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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