I think I am morally bankrupt
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize