I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
