i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
