oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
