I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
