apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
