The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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