just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
