why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i will never coherently bang her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
