Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just invented taco cereal.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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