listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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