This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
