Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
