At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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