i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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