**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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