this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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