Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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