$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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