So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize