I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
