this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
