hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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