but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
