Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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