Sry I called you an 8
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
