Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
