bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
