I puked a lego.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
