so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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