I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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