do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
