i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
