I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
