Whod you bang
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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