am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're like the curious george of whores
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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