I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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