After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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