I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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