I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
