the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
