That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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