Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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