We won't sleep together?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
