i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
