he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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