Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
