I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
